


Crooked Teeth (Confessional)

by theprydonian_archivist



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Episode: s03e13 Last of the Time Lords, Episode: s04e18 The End of Time (2), Introspection, M/M, Romance, Serial: s055 Terror of the Autons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-08
Updated: 2011-08-08
Packaged: 2018-07-15 00:54:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7198844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theprydonian_archivist/pseuds/theprydonian_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor and The Master's relationship...set to Death Cab For Cutie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crooked Teeth (Confessional)

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Versaphile, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Prydonian](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Prydonian). Deciding that it needed to have a more long-term home, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact the e-mail address on [The Prydonian collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/theprydonian/profile).

_It was one hundred degrees as we sat beneath a willow tree_

It was a strange moment of quiet for the two boys, resting after all their running. Theta sat with his back to the tree they were sitting under, and Koschei had his head in Theta's lap. Theta was stroking his friend's hair absently, smiling out at the sunny field of grass that lay before them. Earth was such a beautiful planet. It was Summer, and they had landed in Texas, but neither of them minded so much going without shirts in front of each other. The shade was nice. The breeze was cool. And they were happy.

_Whose tears didn't care, they just hung in the air, and refused to fall (to fall...)_

But all too soon, clouds rolled in. Koschei sat up, hoping for a storm. He loved storms, the beautiful noise of it all, the water crashing down on him, the thunder's rude bellow. It helped him to think.  
He would not yet admit to himself that the reason he liked storms was that they drowned out the drums.  
But there was no storm. Mother Nature granted no rain, and the sky grew darker and darker as night began to fall. There was no sun, but no storms either. The peace had been broken.  
He sighed and got to his feet, tugging his shirt back on as a chill swept through the air. They made their way back to the stolen TARDIS.

XxxxxxxX

_And I knew I'd made a horrible call_

The moment he left, he knew he shouldn't have. But there was no going back. Angry with himself, angry with Koschei, with Rassilon, with his whole damned planet, Theta piloted their TARDIS--just his TARDIS now--far away.  
Their fight had been about the same damn thing they always fought about. They fought about the future. His Koschei was growing away from him, although Koschei swore it was the other way around. Where, before, their plans had involved a mutual travel-the-stars-for-adventure aspect, Koschei now wanted more. He wanted not just to see the planets but to control them. He wanted to be in charge, and the more he talked like that the more Theta was frightened-- _frightened!_ \--of him. Of Kos! His best friend, his...his...  
He would not yet admit that he had a crush on his now ex-best friend.

_And now the state line felt like the Berlin wall, and there was no doubt about which side I was on, mmhmm._

He landed on Earth, then, his stomach sickening at the familiar smell (which reminded him of Koschei, oh, god,  _Koschei_ ,) turned back to the console and told it to fly somewhere else. He didn't want to leave Earth, but he flew it to England, instead. Good old England. He had never been here with...anyone else.

XxxxxxX

_Cause I built you a home in my heart_

Koschei would admit he needed to drown out the drums to think, but he would not yet admit that he missed Theta as more than a friend.  
He pushed himself to work in Theta's absence, learning and experimenting with a cold indifference a boy so young should not have had.   
One night, among all his plans and papers and work, he laid his head down and thought of Theta. He missed his friend. Theta was like a doctor, a doctor who made everything better. When he was with Theta, his head stopped hurting. When he was with Theta, the whole world seemed brighter.  
Koschei would admit that he missed Theta as more than a friend.

_With rotten wood, and it decayed from the start._

But he would not admit that Theta deserved it.  
Theta had abandoned him. Theta no longer made him happy! Theta made him feel sick, like he had thought he'd be able to jump over a pit but not made it at the last second. Thinking about Theta felt like thinking about a failure.  
So he stopped thinking about Theta.

XxxxxxX

_Cause you can't find nothing at all, if there was nothing there all along..._

The next time they met, it was as The Doctor and The Master.   
The Master would admit that The Doctor was clever enough to deserve his strange attraction to him (although he would never admit it  _to_ The Doctor, Rassilon no.) But he would not yet admit that there was anything more between them than an old friendship and a twisted crush.  
Because he didn't see any familiarity in the Doctor's face, and he knew that the Doctor didn't want to be close to him. They were too different.   
He knew he couldn't go back to the old ease. There was none of that left, and he was too proud to try to find something that didn't exist.

XxxxxxxX

_No you can't find nothing at all, if there was nothing there all along..._

And as for The Doctor, he had long ago accepted his crush on the man who had been the boy who had been his best friend. But he dismissed it now, because, as he faced that man, The Master, who was so clearly evil and wrong and against everything he stood for, he saw no love in his eyes. And he knew that they had never had any.

XxxxxxxX

_I braved treacherous streets and kids strung out on homemade speed._

The phone call had ended, and they both understood each other a little bit better. The Master knew how lonely the Doctor was, how sad. The Doctor knew that The Master was still evil, and now insane, as well, but that they were somehow so similar besides. The sound of fear in The Master's voice, when he spoke of the Time War, the disbelief at the end of Gallifrey. And, although he would not admit it to himself, they spoke each other's names with the same breathless, pointless hope, as if anything had changed...  
The Doctor was running. He was running to a safe place, he was running away from the camera, he was running to save his life, his friends, the Earth.  
He was running because the Master had told him to.  
He wasn't running fast enough.  
Because he found himself all too soon at the Master's feet, struggling as he gloated.

_And we shared a bed in which I could not sleep at all. (Whoo hoo, whoo hoo...)_

He spent a whole year at the Master's mercy, subjected to his whims. Sometimes he was old, sometimes young, sometimes in his normal body as a reward for good behavior. Sometimes he was forced to watch as Jack was tortured, or as The Master destroyed whole cities in his insanity.  
And never once, in all that time, was the Master's touch the way he remembered it. Sometimes it was gentle, sure, but always cruel somehow. Even the lightest of touches were a mockery of their intimacy, an intimacy he was now so sure he had imagined. How could he ever have enjoyed the company of a man who set fire to countries just for the pain?  
It took him a long time to realize that he was being blamed. Blamed for the end of the Time War.  
It was easier to stop fighting and resisting when he decided he deserved it.  
There was one moment, one strange moment, when The Doctor thought he saw Koschei in The Master's face. It was at night, and The Master had woken him up from his tent and pulled him to an empty room that had only a table and a few chairs.  
"Strip." He was ordered quietly.  
"Completely?" He had long stopped questioning his orders.  
The Master considered it. "No." He said. "To your boxers."  
The Doctor silently complied.  
The Master stared at him, long and hard, and he seemed almost to be struggling against something. His face shifted in the darkness. He looked tired, and hopeless. It lasted only a moment before he composed himself.  
"Get dressed and go back to your tent." The Master snapped, an irritated rage sweeping away any humanity. He left the room.

XxxxxxxX

_Cause at night, the sun in retreat made the skyline look like crooked teeth_

Alive, alive, he was alive.  
He was alive, and yet everything was  _wrong_.  
The Doctor's offers should not have been so tempting. His voice should not have cracked up and by  _Rassilon_ his eyes should not have watered when The Doctor said, "Wonder what I'd be without you."   
The sun was setting, turning the sky a violent blood red, but that gave him no pleasure. He had to admit to himself that he needed The Doctor. Needed him, despite all the times he'd tried to kill him. He wanted to punch him and kiss him for being the sort of person to cry over a mass-murderer's body, the sort of person to try to save everyone. It was so stupid and idiotic, but it was stupid in such an innocent, childlike way. He could never be that good, and it almost hurt, realizing that the Doctor was. An old ache in his soul.

_In the mouth of a man who was devouring us both._

So, when the time came, and he saw the Doctor, about to die and accepting it-- _accepting it!_ \--he had one final grand gesture to make.   
He saved The Doctor's life.  
And the Time Lock closed behind him.

* * *

You will notice that the song is not over. Neither is the story.  
;-)


End file.
